What Will I Do Without 5 AM?

Thanksgiving was everything I dreamed of and more.

I have a gut feeling that I won't write on this quite as much next semester, considering the only time I actually write is when I have to sit at a desk for four straight hours doing essentially nothing. Add to that the fact that Amanda is the only one who reads this. Who knows though? Maybe I will keep going strong.

Everybody seems to be so incredibly busy this week. I completely understand, because I should probably be just as busy. Being a procrastinator, I am constantly telling myself that I have plenty of time. This week, I have just enjoyed the company that comes from being in the library. At some point in the semester, I would jump at any chance to run home, even for just a few minutes. I've finally realized that I've reached the point in my ACU career where I can walk into the library and almost always find a familiar face to pass some time with.

The only dilemma is very little productivity. If I do homework at home, I usually end up falling asleep (yes, we all know I'm an old woman). At the library, I socialize. I've just come to the conclusion that I have the rest of my life to stay at home and fall asleep reading. Now, I'm finding any excuse to spend as much time with the people I'm able to spend time with now. I always get depressed when I think about the fact that the days of calling up just about anyone to hang out within the next 15 minutes or randomly sleeping at someone else's house in the middle of the week are not going to be here forever. Sorry to have now depressed you too Amanda.

I just really like where I am right now as far as friendships go. I know that sounds so corny and I generally try to avoid things/phrases/topics that have to do with someone's "place in life," but now I've said it and we can move on.

I will now try to go back to the homework that I have again been procrastinating. However, it will most likely now be accompanied by an episode of Friends, as I now own all 10. Props to Black Friday for new movies/tv shows and $10 Snuggies!

Living for Thanksgiving

Living for the weekend is pretty much the story of my life this semester. I generally feel like I start Sunday night at 9:00 pm and go until Friday at 3:00 pm without stopping. I know this isn't exactly the case, but man I really like weekends. But they sure do go by fast.

This weekend, I'm really hoping we'll get the Christmas spirit started, regardless of Rachel's silly "no Christmas before Thanksgiving" rules. This means waking up tomorrow and making a delicious breakfast, decorating our stockings, and trimming a tree, all with "Elf" playing in the background.

I'm excited for this weekend, but I'm even more excited about THANKSGIVING. It is most definitely one of my favorite holidays for a lot of reasons I won't go into, but a lot of it has to do with the focus on my family and yes, delicious eats. My Uncle Rick is a Thanksgiving Master.

Every year, we trek down to The Woodlands to spend Thanksgiving with my mom's sister (PoPo) and her family (Uncle Rick, Cat, and Liz). I hear so many stories about people who aren't very close in age to their cousins, and therefore not very close to them at all. One of the things I'm thankful for is two girl cousins who sandwich me in age. I've always loved family gatherings with them. When I was younger, this mostly revolved around the fact that I would finally have girls to play Barbies with. My brother, shockingly, never seemed to get the hang of it and saw it as a prime opportunity to push my buttons. For many Thanksgivings, me and "the girls" as we have so lovingly dubbed them, would wake up and dress up as pilgrims, which usually meant wearing any black clothes we could find with white trash bag aprons.

These days, we're satisfied with waking up and snacking on biscuits and coffee while we watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. It seems like every year, Uncle Rick suggests we go to the Houston Thanksgiving Parade, but we are lazy and that would require leaving our pajamas. Finally food is ready and PoPo puts on whatever new Christmas music she's bought at Starbucks to go with our meal. Thanksgiving night always means going to a movie.

And then it's Black Friday. We always say we're not going to go or we'll go for just part of the morning, but it almost always turns into an all day affair of spending way more money than we'd planned on. But Christmas gifts are a go.

Wow, I'm getting excited just writing about it. I really love Thanksgiving. The food, the traditions, the relaxation, the leftovers, and even just hearing about how others celebrate.

For the record, my favorite is the stuffing.

Bring It On....when the time is right

My life is just a little too easy most of the time. I'm thankful for what I've been given, but where is that dividing line between blessings, and just being spoiled? I think I may have accidentally crossed it a while ago.

I wonder what would happen if I was called to leave it all. Though I consider myself to be a pretty low maintenance gal, I'm not so sure I could make that switch so quickly. I always wish I was more adventurous than I actually am. I say it's because opportunities don't present themselves, or I get really close and then back away. The fact is I'm just plain scared. I'm scared of seeking out those opportunities or even taking advantage of those that are staring me in the face. Even worse than being scared, I'm lazy.

There are quite a few things that need changing before I'm ready to hear and accept God's call. I have a good feeling He knows that too. While it's scary now, and there's a chance I will chicken out when that day comes, just as I chicken out on so many things, I can't wait to find out what my adventure is, because I know that by that time, I'll be ready.

So, so bored.

I'm sitting at the Gardner desk bored out of my mind. I have a Spanish test today and brought my stuff to study, but finished all that business about an hour and a half into my shift. Sometimes I underestimate my intellect.

So now, after drinking all my coffee, facebook stalking just about everyone I know, and completing my USA Today Crossword, I'm writing really just for the sake of writing. I generally talk about how busy this semester has been for me. Sometimes I think I'm exaggerating, but then I realize I'm not. Between taking 15 hours (2 classes with labs), peer leading for a U100, working 20 hours, and staying as involved with club as possible, there is little left to do at the end of the day but crash. Especially considering I usually have to start all over again in roughly 5-6 hours.

I am so, so, so excited about my lineup next semester. I'm only taking 12 hours, which will make working so much way more bearable. I'm also hoping to volunteer somewhere that could really teach me a lot about a possible job field. Not to mention, SING SONG, which is probably my number one favorite thing about ACU (waterball is a very close second). Overall, I'm really looking forward to a semester that will probably be just as busy, but hopefully a more fun busy, rather than a wake up at 4 a.m. busy.

Next semester? Check.

Which only leaves summer... I've already been asked quite a bit if I'm planning on reprising my role as counselor at Kadesh and MPulse. While a summer without camps seems incredibly hard to imagine right now, I can't help but feel like it may be time for me to move on. Moving on to what is the problem. I've talked about looking for internships, but more recently I've been questioning whether or not I should stay and work in Abilene. Yes, Abilene is boring to many, but I can't help but smile at the thought of spending a couple of restful months with some of my favorite people. Camp is in Abilene, but I'm rarely given the opportunity to just take it easy. After two and a half-ish extremely busy years of college, the thought of just hanging out sounds just blissful.

I have plenty of time to think about it, which is mostly my way of saying I just don't want to think about it right now. Until further decisions must be made, you can more than likely find me at the ACU pool watching whatever waterball game is underway.

Blogging is Clearly My Forte

....so I suck at blogging. Big deal.

Fall Break has come and gone and I wish we could have one every weekend. I had been looking forward to that glorious Friday off for weeks on end. Finally Caroline and I set off for the big D/FW.

We started in Fort Worth to visit some of the funniest people I know, Tyne, Claire, and BC, who many know as Elaina. I really like Fort Worth and am thinking about moving in with them. Their apartment is just down right cozy and they have excellent taste in TV. Which basically just means they watch a lot of TV. Which means we get along just fine.

Friday morning, Claire made us a nutritious breakfast and we went along our merry way. Our next stop was the Allen Outlet Center. Tired of our lackluster wardrobe, we stocked up. After said stocking, we made our way to Cara's apartment in Addison. Cara is my brother's girlfriend and is just as precious as a peach. If you don't believe me, you're a fool. She just got Lily, a yorkie puppy, who I wish would've liked to cuddle a bit more, but was still fun to play with.

Saturday we slept in. And by that, I mean I watched TV while Caroline slept in. For some reason, my body just doesn't agree with me wanting to sleep past 9. I really wish I could do something about that. We realized that we maybe hadn't stocked up quite as much as we could have, so we went to a nearby mall and stocked a little more. *Note: Stocked is a very different word than stalked. I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea.

We waited around Addison until my brother got into town and the four of us went out to dinner. I wish we could have spent a little more time with Jonathan, but it was time to make our way to THE Dallas. Miss Suzanne Langston, EOX president emeritus, was waiting patiently at her apartment for our arrival. Kylie and Amy Jo had better things to do, but I have no hard feelings as they had really good excuses. According to Caroline, no Dallas trip is complete without a stop at Yogalicious, so naturally we made a yogurt run. If I'm being completely honest, I don't really know the difference between ice cream and frozen yogurt. I wish I did, but the fact of the matter is, they're both pretty tasty, so I'll settle for either anyday.

After church and lunch with Suz, we made a run by another mall (no stocking here; I don't have a problem) to visit Amy Jo at work. I love the Paper Source and wish Amy Jo could come make pretty cards for me all the time. I absolutely loved staying with these three, as they are three of my favorite Siggies in the world. I'm thinking of packing up and moving in with them as well.

That was my weekend in a very large nutshell. I'm very excited about blogging more often. Once again, if you don't believe me, you're a fool.

Goals

I'm on the verge of completing my third Welcome Week. Each year has brought a new role and while I'm a little more apprehensive about this year's, I'm mostly excited. Mentor group leading last year was a breeze. One week? Piece of cake. Welcome to camp. This year, however, I will be devoting at least two hours a week to my kids. Hopefully more, if I do my job right.

A lot of times this week, I feel like I was probably talking my kids to death. I learned this summer that I'm not so great with the discussion leading as I am picking a topic and going with it. I also learned this summer that it's really easy for me to talk without backing it up with my own actions.

I told my kids this week that it is important for them to set goals for their first year of college. If they're aware of their expectations of ACU and the amount of time and work they're willing to put into their first year, they'll be more likely to fulfill those expectations. I said this mostly because that's what the Welcome Week curriculum told me to say and I will honestly never know if they even heard what I said. However, I gave up setting goals for myself for a while and began to settle for coasting through. Not good. So here they are. My new school year's resolutions.

1) Work hard.

I want to do everything this year to the best of my abilities. AKA: not slack.

"Now whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." -Colossians 3:17

2) Love others.

I hope to fulfill this goal in any way possible. Whether that means being kind and patient with the people I'm around every day, or reaching out to those who I've neglected in the past.

3) Act upon my ambitions.

It's about that time to stop talking about what I'm dreaming about doing with life and start finding the path towards doing it.

4) Use my time wisely.

I wish I could add up and know how many hours I've wasted on the computer, but it would probably be too embarrassing.

5) Strive to evoke "...the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

I fall victim to the god of humor all too often when I should be better about keeping my mouth shut.

6) Never settle. For anything.

This goal is pretty much my goal for life and a blanket to all the other goals.

Summer Has Come and Gone

I completely regret the fact that I went all through camp without a single post. That's not to say that I couldn't have. I could probably write a book about the kids I've met this summer. But oh well.

I love camp.

I've known this for a while, of course. I feel like the fact that I've worked there is enough evidence. However, just in case we need more, Becca and I got into the habit of reading our old Xanga entries every night after our campers had gone to sleep. We decided that Becca was kind of lame in her Xanga-ing days, as was I my sophomore year. It's kind of lame, but going back, a lot of my posts involve ACU camps. Countdowns to actually going to camp and even excited mentionings of registering for Kadesh.

I think it's because camp is where you're allowed to be exactly who you want to be even just 50% of the time you're not at camp. I don't really know how this is, but I think it's mostly because it's a completely even playing field. Everyone wants to be their best self while being honest about themselves, all while knowing they don't have to worry about being judged. It's all about community.

It's kind of hard to understand to outsiders. Sometimes it is to insiders. But the community that's formed at ACU camps really do have the power to last. Not just as campers either. I've been so incredibly blessed by the communities formed while working at camp.

What I guess I'm trying to say, is I don't fully understand why real life can't be more like camp. Why can't I wake up in the morning and sing a song of praise to my Creator? Why is it so hard for me to set aside just 15 minutes a day to study God's word? How hard would it be for me to volunteer at places who need me all year long? Why can't I work towards creating strong friendships rooted in God's love for us all?

I think it's me and my own stupid belief that camp stays at camp and the real world will always stay the way it is. My new goal is to change my mindset and work towards change. Bring on the revolution. Too cliche, Kadesh?

Stuck

I keep trying to think of how this blog should work. Obviously I want it to express something about myself. I just can't decide if I want it to be just talking about my life and what I do or if I should try to take it further.

The fact of the matter is, I get bored when I read super long posts trying to be super deep that kind of seem to drone on and on. If there's one thing I don't want to be...it's boring. So I definitely don't want my blog to be boring.

I'm sure it'll all perk up when I actually have something to do with my life. Maybe sometime next week I'll write about adventures in babysitting...I mean, substitute teaching.  Same thing? Who knows?

Berlin Love

Jessica and I walked back up to the plaza from the public bathroom back to the rest of our group. "I am Jala" (pronounced Yala) said the unfamiliar face right before she took me into her arms in a huge hug. Ashley's expression behind the stranger told me that she too had recently been on the receiving end of a similar hug. I replied with my name and the fact that it was nice to meet her. In response, I got a huge grin and confused nod.

Jala doesn't speak English. Well, not much anyway. We spent the evening walking around Berlin, Jessica, Ashley, Taylor, Oliver, our bilingual friend and guide for the weekend, Oliver's girlfriend, Jala, and myself. Later, the four of us traveling discussed how the whole situation was slightly awkward, but more about how pleasantly surprised we were by Jala's instant friendliness despite obvious barriers. 

It made me think about first impressions as well as missed opportunities. When I think of the huge number of people that I encounter everyday, I realize that I'm really good at completely passing by tons of chances to get to know people. I hope that one day, I will have achieved the passion that Jala evoked towards meeting us. 

I received at least two more Jala hugs during our weekend in Berlin and I will probably never see her again. It just goes to show you that it doesn't take a lot to leave a good impression. And if that's so obvious, then why is it so hard to really try and make an impact on someone? 

So...who wants a hug?

Home

Here I am. Back in Texas.

It feels almost exactly like I never left. Which is pretty easy to adjust to in most ways. I'd be lying if I said it's easy to go from going wherever I want, whenever I want to having to call often and ask permission beforehand. 

I always think I'm going to get a lot done when I'm home. I have shelves of books to read and goodness knows lots of unpacking, cleaning and packing I should do. But here I am...propped up in bed watching old episodes of Beverly Hills 90210 waiting for a commercial so I can grab laundry from the dryer. 

The truth is, there's just not a lot to do in the booming metropolis of Athens, Texas. Which means I'll probably be writing more often.

Laundry is productive, right?

Here We Go...

Ashley will probably think I'm going rogue by starting my own blog. Let me just say that this will in no way affect my commitment to our joint blog...if we keep it going.

Let me also say that I'm not very good at blogging. If you have ever looked at the other blog, you know this already. So we'll see how it goes.

If you know me relatively well, you may know that I thoroughly enjoy time by myself. I think some of my favorite moments this semester have been the times when I trap myself in our room with a cup of tea and the window open. It is so strange sitting here now just four days away from going back to the US. My set for tea and alone time will never be the same as what it is now. I've grown very fond of my view of Canterbury Road from our third floor window. 

I keep shifting as far as how I feel about going home. I'm so excited to see my family and friends, and let's not forget Mexican food and my car (Lola). But in two weeks, I think it will really hit me that I may never get to come back to Europe. Wow. Depressing indeed. Sometimes I just stop and think about how what I've done this semester is a much bigger deal than I usually realize. 

I feel like I'm getting ready to pack for another weekend trip. Only this time, I have to pack everything. And I'm going to be gone a lot longer than a weekend. Like I said, kind of depressing. Though it may not sound like it, I am so, so, so excited to see what's next in store for my life.

Until then....you can find me at Ben's Cookies.